So imagine there’s this girl with bangs,

and wide, spacey eyes.

What do you call her?


Not sure why it was hilarious,

but I laughed myself awake this morning with this dream. #smirk




You have family. You have friends. You have close friends. You have romantic relationships. You have children. You have colleagues bosses whatever. But sometimes, or maybe all the time, after all the chatting sessions you still feel that you are totally alone and nobody understands you.

But do you know why?

It’s really down to one simple point – VALIDATION. Validation of your emotions, validation of your thoughts, validation of your current status.

All you need is for someone to LISTEN, and then ACKNOWLEDGE what you are going through – the emotions, the thoughts, the whatever. Did you ask for opinions? No. Did you want solutions? No. Most importantly, did you need to them to tell you how YOU should feel? Abso-fucking-lutely NO.

Validation is one of the most underrated qualities that you can have in order to make people feel connected, heard and understood. And it’s fucking simple to do – just nod your head, say something along the line of “Yes I can see why you feel that way.”, make affirmative empathetic voices, restrain yourself for telling people what to feel or what to do or what to say, and you are half way there.

TRY IT. You’ll make your immediate world a lot fucking better place, I swear it.




I was sprawling on the bed listening to my boyfriend speaking as he stood beside the hotel bedroom wall, when suddenly the room went dark and an ominous, blacker than night creature appeared right before my face and triumphly announced his name. My eyes bulged and I tried to untangle myself from my sprawling position but found that I could neither move nor speak. There was no sight of my boyfriend. I tried to scream again and again but nothing came out. I tried to free myself again and again but I can’t move an inch of my body. I got fed up and in my head, I screamed at the dark figure and told him that I WOULD free myself and I WOULD scream and when I can move I’d make sure I choked him to death!

And then I woke up and I chuckled in the middle of the night.

Sometimes, you have to give it to my dreams to remind me what my subconscious’ attitude is to tackle my current worries in such an exquisitely realistic scenario.




Nothing makes you think about your own life more when your birthday is approaching. What have I done with my life so far? Am I getting wiser? Did I spend my time wisely? Am I doing well in my career? Is my relationship going strong? Why am I not married with kids yet? Am I spending more time to improve the key areas of my life? How am I financially? Do I keep in regular contact with my close ones? Why am I not meditating or exercise or eating better more? Blah blah blah the list goes on.

But the real thoughts of your birthday approaching?


This the fucking hard truth I tell ya.


Vanilla VS Chocolate


I have meant to write earlier, it’s just that I have been caught up with small and little and many and much more business. You know what I mean. The changes are imperceptible. Subtle, even. Thus when they caught up on me it’s already too late. Like I now like vanilla more than chocolate.


McDreamy 2


After precisely one year and three months, I finally dreamed about you again, Mr McDreamy. We were in the midst of planning our wedding, and were very much in love. When you hugged me, I had the same feeling of warmth and permeates my whole being – so much so that I can feel my body warming up. I felt secure in your arms, literally.

Then we were at this warehouse choosing some items, and this friend of mine who was beside me turned and forcibly kissed on my lips. I was shocked and livid. This dude told me he wanted me to know that he has always love me and wanted to be with me. Ok, but to kiss me in front of you? You did not intervene, thinking that was one of my indiscretion. You left me to deal with the situation alone. I cried, but you were so far away already.

Is this to be a premonition of how my future love life will be? I haven’t found you, but I have found the feelings which I’m supposed to feel when I’m together with you. I reject this scenario, and I will be damned if the Cupid demands back his arrow.







My First Energy Healing and Learning


There are many changes in my life recently and I’ve been feeling that something is not aligned within me. So several weeks ago, I thought about my friend Sherwin and immediately texted him to ask for a session and so there I was, at his place, for my first ever energy healing. I’m not going to go through the session, as you’ll know when you go through it, and I’m going to share what I’ve learned today so it only serves as a reminder and deepen my own learning, it gives you an idea of how much you can learn with just one session with Sherwin. 🙂

Right at the beginning when Sherwin asked me what brought me here and I told him about the misalignment, he straightaway told me what was not aligned – my mind and my heart. My heart is telling me that this is the right path that I should pursue, and my mind is being logical and practical and told me to hold back, hold back. This is what have been troubling me.

Sherwin then let me picked 3 cards. My first card was ‘The Cat’ – it’s about being independent and setting my own healthy boundaries. Bingo! This is exactly what I’ve been doing this whole year. The next card I chose was [blank], [blank]. The third card was ‘The Bard’, which is about storytelling. Not those that I tell people or people tell me, it’s the story that I tell myself.

I also learned about my past 3 lives and the take-away I got from them, some of which were chaining me to those beliefs and made me unable to move forward. My first past live that manifested was a Spanish ship merchant who was well-to-do and had a wife and kids. Unfortunately, my wife and kids got kidnapped and when I paid my ransom, the kidnappers killed them anyway. My take-away? ‘What good is money if it can’t even saved my loved ones?’

My 2nd past life that popped up was a magistrate in Rome. I was in a sitting and debating about politics when I took up my wine goblet and drank, then realized too late that it was poisoned. My take away? ‘Why fight for my ideals when all it got was got me killed?’

The 3rd past life was an interesting one. I was the high priestess of the Goddess Hestia, and it was my duty to tend to the eternal flame – a big cauldron of fire at the centre of the temple with columns multiple floors tall. Kings and generals came to ask for my advice and blessings. I could look into the fire to predict about outcome; or to see into the future. This life didn’t have a negative connotation – it’s a positive one.

So these are what I’m believing now:
1) That abundance is joy and that I deserve abundance
2) That I allow myself to live my life to my fullest potential
3) That as I said it, my words will manifest.

Other things that Sherwin shared with me:
– that this year is my self-reflecting and awareness year – I need to be aware of who I am, what I want to do, and do where my passion lies. Lots of self exploring.
– next year will be my hermit year – I need those time to plan.
– after that, it will be my money making year! Woohoo! the faster I plan, the faster the money will come.

I also know that in from 2012 to 2022, I will meet many many new & interesting people who will be a mirror to myself, especially my own fears. I need to face my own fears and reflect about myself.

Above all, don’t think too much, just act. It will grow organically. *heart*




During my nap today I dreamt about you. We were holidaying at a nature/scenic place surrounded by water. We were walking when you suddenly hold my hands. I let you hold my hands till we reached a corner, where you turn me around to kiss me. Even to kiss me you are hesitant. And I’m not sure why both of us were wearing braces.

This is definitely a manisfestation of recent events.


Of Bulgari, wedding and love


A whole bunch of us were attending a wedding of someone really rich and famous, and were given a house in a big arse compound to stay over. To reach the wedding ceremony place, we have to walk downhill from the house.

I remember discovering a turn table-ish device with 4 sides on the floor displaying Bulgari jewelleries. Omg some of them are high jewelleries! I squealed with delight and rushed over to examine all these precious and pretty stones.

After the wedding dinner, which we were given a far far away seat but has the best view of the whole thing, we went back to the house. I was still very excited about the Bulgari discovery and I grabbed this dude to show him. When we were inside the room, after I showed him, he suddenly turned around and with tears in his eyes he asked me, “I like you very much and I was doing my best to please you. Will we be happy together?” I was stunned and then I woke up.

Weird dreams.


The Disease Queen


My dream today is a little different.

I’m at this house with a man who married a witch that spreads diseases. They have a daughter, who is the sole reason I go house visit.

The dad is constantly laboring hard, fixing the house, attending to the sick animals, taking care of the wife and daughter. And he has no idea why the animals kept falling sick. The mum is normally in lumbur. The time when she’s awake and walking about is when everything she touches fell ill. Strangely, I noted that her husband and daughter never gotten ill.

I have the fortune (or misfortune) to witness her being awake. She walks about in a daze, touching this and that, and of course one by one their conditions worsen. I realise that she didn’t realize that she is the disease queen, and thought she is spreading love instead. My last memory of her is when she walks into a shed out at the garden, with the horses and cows braying pitifully at the background.




There is a whole new world in my mouth. Inside my mouth, there is a bubble of different dimension, and inside the bubble there is a rock. On top of the rock, there is bright blue color nudi. And the nudi is swaying together with the current.

I kept opening my mouth and pointing at my mouth trying to show people the nudi inside my mouth, but everyone couldn’t see anything. Im being ignored. And I kept trying to make people see.

That feeling.

My dreams are just getting awesomer. 🙂




The urge is strong.
Must resist this urge until a better one comes along.
And I shall wait patiently, like all good scorpio.


Ex mum


I was walking down a long flight of stairs somewhere when I bumped into my ex’s mum, whom I had a child with her son and somehow didn’t manage to stick together.

We greeted each other and I hold her hands to assist her walking down the stairs and we chatted amicably. We didn’t bring up the subject of my child. As we near the bottom of the stairs, she surreptitiously pointed and I saw my ex, standing tall in a white suit and was staring straight at me with an intense look of mixed emotions. I remembered I was wearing something elegant, luckily. Suddenly she sat down and I was kneeling down asking her how she was. She gave me a wink and then we stood up, reached the bottom of the stairs and turned left, avoiding him. I remembered feeling exhilarated as I managed to squeezed thru a narrow gap. He looks like zhang jie.

Weird dream.


A New Leaf


Today I relearn a very important lesson in life – The Law of Attraction. You are where you are right now because of the thoughts you projected. This universal law applies to every single aspect of one’s life – your health, your relationship, your wealth and ultimately, your happiness.

Positive thoughts and actions attract positive outcomes. This is the whole truth about the law of attraction. I can’t help but think that it is a divine intervention for me to relearn about this now, as I have veered from my new year resolution of being consciously happy and the universe is now sending me back on the right track. Thank you universe and the unnamed lady who insisted that I should watch the video. 🙂

From today onwards, I will have only positive thoughts for everything and be grateful for what I have so far! 🙂


Believe and Be Happy Everyone!




务求四大皆空 🙂


Killing Spree


I had nightmare yesterday. Terrible nightmare.

I dreamt of my dad, my brothers, and somehow I had some sisters. I dreamt of my dad killing random people. I dreamt of other people randomly killing people. I dreamt of a house filled with murder. I dreamt of when I threw punches (literally) with my sisters, somehow someone else’s head or arm or feet or torso in other places got chopped off. I dreamt of walls of slickening blood. I dreamt of piercing sounds of anguish screams and sick thudding sounds. I dreamt of the violent movements of people in death throes.

Know that I dream vividly.

Thus even in my dream, I was aghast, devastated, appalled, as well as completely shocked by the sheer brutality and wantonness of the killing spree. I was but just an observer through this whole shocking dream.

No more such nightmares please.





I believed I haven’t stop drinking since Christmas 2013! Well, there might be a break of 1 or 2 days in between… But seriously, I’ve been steadfastly drinking. Especially during CNY 2014, and I haven’t slow down yet. Guess the stress doesn’t help.

I feel like I’m in a perpetual state of alcohol-fume. Meh.


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