bleeding feet
This morning I broke a glass and it cut my feet.
It didn’t stop bleeding for a good five minutes.
The toilet floor was covered with my fresh blood.
I couldn’t help but think, is someone up there trying to ask me to clear up my head and be thankful to my current life?
Stop thinking so much.
And stop being bored.
emotionally void
What is that you called? Happiness?
What is that you mentioned? Sad?
What is that you asked? Exaltation?
What is that you said? Disappointment?
I’m sorry, but I do not know what you are talking about.
Asked me again when I have a couple of fermented barley juice sitting nicely in my tummy.
Maybe then, perhaps then, I will comprehend what you were trying to express to me.
morbid conversations
Sent at 4:27 PM on Wednesday
Chin: pagaaaaaaaaaannnnnnnnnnn
me: yes?
Chin: can u kill me?
me: sure
pick:
1) gun
2) throw you down from KLCC
3) give u poison
4) ask people to gang rape you then smother you
Chin: waliau the 4th so cuel
me: 5) give u a boat + an oar + no water + a huge stone + ropes
6) give u knife and a hot bathtub
7) give u lighter and open the gas for you
Chin: u really very free
ok FYI…outside raining cats and dogs
me: 
give u nylon rope and a steel bar
9) give u lots of mosquitoes ahhaahah
and.. i am not free. i type fast
confrontation
…is the last thing I’d want to do. Usually tend to avoid it at all cost if possible.
But there are times, when one has no choice but to initiate confrontation. Hopefully can just blah everything out and be done with it. To be or not to be. It’s time.
I’ll try my best not to think of it as a confrontation.
monday blues
…hit me like a tsunami wave. Work is same old, same old. Ever since the invention of email everybody seems to abuse it. No matter, I am the queen of flooding people’s mailbox.
Life perception changes when one grows up, usually not the in way they intended. What is your ambition when you are younger? I didn’t have any. 5 years ago I’d like to be a CEO of a fortune 500 company. Now? I’d much prefer to spend quality time with my family, my friends, my love, and most importantly – myself.
Some people never get wiser when they are older. In fact, they become the opposite. Pray that I don’t become a truly irritating nagging hag when I age.
Even clothing sense changed. I acutely remember those days when I wear baggy shirts and folded loose jeans and resent wholeheartedly on wearing sheelveless shirts.
Those days I am clean as a piece of white paper. Guess I’m filled with holes and black burns all over now. Became cynical. Questioned everyone’s motives. Maybe that’s why I keep asking ‘Why?’ for everything. Do know that it is not personal.
Ahh… I still remember me being the dork who didn’t know what a FM is. Terrible, isn’t it.
In light of the misery shrouded in Myanmar and SiChuan, I should be grateful, shuddup and be totally grateful that my four limbs are still attached to my head.
birthday resolution
1) limit my clubbing sessions and do more leisure trips instead (next stop: National Science Centre!)
2) drink moderately, the aim is not to overdose
3) stop dining at expensive places and fag lesser to save up dough for trips with darling drey
4) get a boyfriend so my dad will stop pestering me and leave my ears alone!
5) reflect more on myself
and above all, stay young, free and always beautiful!
dazed
…is how I felt recently. Actually more like muddled-brain, bewildered, confused, befuddled, stupefied on my general outlook of life.
I know have a good life, a good job, a good boss, good friends, a very nice family and I’m grateful for it every single day. So what is missing?? I guess it’s because I’m hitting a patch of what people nowadays called ‘quarter life crisis’ – for quite some time already actually.
A big part of me wanted to break free of what I am comfortable with now and plunged into the exciting risky unfamiliar territory and just go crazy and get all the experiences that I’m dying to get. Another part of me is scared.
And hence I was stuck yet again in the middle of the rut. I’ve had this couped up feeling for such a long time and didn’t do anything about it. Or more like, tried to do something about it but didn’t work out after all. And I tried to substitute this hollow feeling for something less intangible and still it didn’t seem to work… After some time that is.
Hence the sulky mood, and thus the none existence blogging for these time.
Well, now I do have a new target, a new agenda in my life (finally). And I shall make it happened. 
back to earth!
Finally, I’m back to earth from the outer space called TechEd SEA 2007, located at KL Convention Centre after no sleep for most of us on set up day, running up down left right around the freaking long corridors putting up signage & buntings (give me a SQUARE convention centre!), amidst the shouts of ‘where’s that freaking trolley!’ (an integral part of any events, trust me), screaming match over the walkie (cos everyone’s trying to talk at the same time), hosting VIPs from all around the world, endless foyer & room announcements, super duper busy time giving out freebies, and generally don’t know where the heck the rest of my colleagues were, but was having lots of fun anyway making the temps run here & there so I don’t have to (hohoho). And don’t even know about the Indonesian 8.5 quake.
Hmm… I think we should consider getting a tracking system so everyone will know where everyone is… Wait. On a second thought – NO WAY. Then I can’t slack off at all. LOL
And oh, attended the super cool GeekOut2 Party @ Zouk wearing crew shirt (with a big CREW word behind the white shirt that GLOWS under the UV light!).
AND OH! A super GREAT midnight surprise birthday party we had for our September babies! I’m sure Andrew & Jeff had lots of fun eating the cake with their nose hahahaha!
It’s good to be back at home…
I’m well on my way
…to become a certified alcoholic.
No, correction. Gold-certified alcoholic. LOL
Why? Nah.. tsk, there’s only ever 1 reason = I like.