Hilarious | the argot of an eidolon

a banana joke

It was lovely lazy Saturday afternoon…

w: I’m going to take one of your bananas!
l: Ok. Stuff yourself with it.
w: Your bananas are getting too ripe! It has to be put in the fridge.
l: You know why we like cold bananas? ‘cos we can suck it until it melts.
w: *SHOCK*
w: umm… The bananas are too ripe… they fell off their trunks (when she put them in the fridge)
l: Ohh mann.. This is such a dreary predicament!

//w & l rolled on the ground shaking with laughter

d’lovely neighbours

Those of you who read my old blog will know that I have previously dissed my neighbours for being an uncivilized, barbaric, ill-bred, crude, discourteous, unthoughtful, illiterate, impertinent, uneducated, unmannared, vulgar, lowbred, boorish, inhuman, uncultivated, rude son of a b!tch.

Now I’ve met another neighbour who constantly come to the pretty damsel’s rescue(s):
- SMS-ed wonderkittie to tell us that I’ve forgotten to turn off my car’s headlights for freaking 18 hours (obviously the battery is dead flat)
- Helped me changed my dead flat batter in the middle of the night together with a tipsy EL and a very helpful guard
- when wonderkittie dropped her sunnies beside d’car

…And my lovely neighbour is apparently a very prominent figure in the electronica scene in Malaysia. (loony is trying to get over her total complete utter shock and awe right now)

No, I’m not going to tell you his name.

Are you malay?

…is what Loony’s cab driver asked her the first thing she got into the car, freshly back from Bangkok, Thailand. Now why did she have to speak to him in Malay at first place?

Anyway, after establishing the fact that loony’s in fact:
- a pure blood Chinese (not half-Malay, certainly NOT Indonesian!),
- working in KL (he actually thought loony’s working as an air stewardess or a model because loony “ada gaya”. Hohohohoho),
- originated from Malacca (apparently Malacca produces lots of pretty girls),
- has 3 siblings,
- not 23 years old but a little older than that (honestly, loony looks like 23yo? PUH-LEASE),
- single (but he said that loony’s so pretty, she didn’t have to worry about not being able to find a boyfriend. Hohohoho),
What, you think loony’s a fool? She gave him a little truths & more half-truths. No no no, half truths are NOT lies.) and passed loony his contact so she can call him anytime if she needs a cab to KLIA or LCCT, their conversation turned to why most Chinese woman nowadays, in their late twenties & early thirties, preferred to stay single.

According to the very chatty Cab Driver, they (his other customers of course) said that one, they haven’t found the Mr. Right; Two, they are really cynical about the whole marriage idea because they see all the failures in marriages around them.

Well, this is what loony thinks: Mr. Right? There are no Mr. Right in this world for any women. Why? ‘cos women (especially those highly educated and have a good job with high paying income) are somehow brainwashed to find a man that has to fit in their ‘perfect for me’ list. Now the thing is, even if this particular guy fit in their ‘perfect for me’ category, they might ended up in separate ways anyway. Why? ‘cos they forgot that all relationships have to be work on. It takes effort. It’s just like planting a flower seed. You think the flower’s going to grow up alright just by itself? Weeds, maybe. Not if you want to cultivate exotic orchids. So back to loony’s point, Mr. Right is only Mr. Right once you determined that you’re going to work on this particular relationship.

**disclaimer: loony is neither a women-hater nor a feminist. She’s just like to say what she thinks in a way she likes to write it.

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GLUTTONY is a SIN!

Introducing to you the four gluttons:

Sorry sorry, 3 only (minus moomoo).

Oppssss.. sorry sorry, 2 only (minus wonderkittie)

So the gluttons awards go to… *drum rolls* — Loony & Nutty!!(why is there no surprise there..)

I mean, just look at all the food! Which eventually became empty anyway.. the dishes I mean..

The gluttons actually went to Paris @ ss2 & have a hearty farewell dinner for nutty.
We’re only four (4) gals, but we ordered six (6) dishes!

The waiter who took our order actually took a longggg look at us: “The friend that you’re waiting for, is it a girl or a guy?” (moomoo was a little late)
loony: “A girl lerrr”
The waiter: /raised the eyebrow super high
loony: “Dont worry lah Uncle, we can finish one haha”

When the food came, everyone, and loony did mean EVERYONE, who walked pass their tables were staring at the food, & then them, with a big ‘O’ on their face… *sweat*

d’”Zhao Pai” tofu is quite nice – soft on the inside, crunchy on the outside, with lots of tasty meat bits (not that loony can taste those..)

d’long beans omelete is.. so-so only lah..

d’champagne chicken is a MUST TRY!!

Of which loony & nutty are happily devouring the watermelons..

d’watermelonized loony… and nutty…. haha

then suddenly they served a wrong dish.. i cant remember what’s this type of steamed fish called..

d’bittergourd soup – yuk. Don’t order it. Soups are not their forte

d’teo chew’ steamed fish! it was super yummy! but I mean, do you really see how big is it?

well.. an hour later, all that was left was the spine & 1 pathetic piece of tofu only!!

Last but not least.. d’gam hiong lala – quite yummy but a little too much flavours going on for my taste

my brother’s nipple?

Don’t get me wrong, I LOVEEEE to read my brothers’ blog.
However, there are certain stuff that really, I don’t want to read about. Like how sore my bro’s nipples are when he went surfing in Bali. EEEwwwwwww!! I could totally live happier without THIS particular piece of information!

ginger?

Usually I’m seriously lousy at remembering people’s name, especially in clubs. I mean, who can really hear with all that loud noise going on right?

But that night @ Sanctuary, The Curve, I for once did remember a guy’s name. It goes like that:

loony: “hi! i’m loony. u are?”
guy: “hi! i’m Ginger!”
/loony blinked her eyes once, blinked her eyes twice.. & then couldn’t stop giggling!
loony: “seriously, GINGER?”
ginger: “yeah! ginger!”
/loony’s thinking if he’s called ginger, then if he happened to marry a gal named ‘onion’, then they could have a child named ‘chicken’ or ‘beef’. The end result? “Ginger Onion Chicken”, or beef.

MWaHAAHAHAHaHahaAH!

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