An Ode to Elevator

Posted on 11 October 2007

Elevator is a strange place created that most city folks who stay in condominiums, service apartments and flats, or work in high-rise buildings, will inevitably invariably use on a daily basis (even those that stays one floor up only!).

Elevator creates a special moment for people who doesn’t know each other or might otherwise never cross path in their lifetime to meet. Or to trap people in a tight confined space who don’t know where to put their eyes or their hands or their feet when they’re inside a lift with a stranger.

What do you do in a lift with a stranger? Do you stare fixedly at the level numbers displayed on the little screen while muttering ‘faster la faster la’? Or lacking the digital display you play with your phone, or check your watch, or have a sudden interest in your nails or your shoes? Or do you take the opportunity to examine other people’s wardrobe?

When you are in your residential elevator, do you smile & nod at your neighbours? Do you try to create an idle chat with them to pass the waiting time to reach your floor? Or do you plainly ignore them?

So what have you done when you are alone in the elevator?
- Utilize the mirror inside to check your appearances / apply make up
- Wave or make silly faces to the security camera
- Adjust your bra straps, pants, shoelaces, etc
- Looking for your car keys / house keys
- Read / Listen to mp3s
- Nap?

What is the worst situation you can find yourself in the elevator? (in no order of priority)
- You talk something bad about someone and after that realized the person is standing right behind you
- The door opens and you find two people having sex (or more? *shocked*)
- You want to pee but the elevator is moving oh-so-slowly!
- Somebody just let out a particularly nasty fart
- Someone needs a shower, badly

This one definitely takes the cream: Got stuck in an elevator break down and your mobile phone line is nil and the emergency button is not functioning and…
- you need to use the bathroom badly
- OR your water broke (time to deliver a baby!)
- OR you are stuck with somebody with a badddddd BO

Actually… that reminded me of a video clip of two people fondling each other in the lift and got captured by the security camera. Ahh.. but I digress.

And therefore it is of my opinion that most people prefer to take the elevator ALONE… break down or not.

See, if human never evolve, if electricity and steel were never discovered, we will never be caught dead in any of the situations above. Then again, we wouldn’t be able to blog or surf net or MSN. *cold shudder*