the need to soften up
Posted on 31 August 2007
People always tell me that I am a strong, independent woman. They also told me I have a haughty look – one that literally screams “I am better than you”.
Well, it honestly doesn’t help when the “people” who told me that includes my best friends, my younger brothers, my aiya-brother, and the most unbelievably – my *dad*!
Dad: “Why you so career minded? You know a woman your age should start thinking about finding a nice boy & get settled down. Why you want to work so hard?”
Me: “Because I want to be independent! And don’t expect me to get married in the next 5 years because I’m still young, I want to see where I can go in my life.”
Dad: “Why do you need to proof yourself? You’re a female. A woman’s proper place is to be by the man! Work so hard for what? You need a man in your life!”
Me: “DAD! YOU ARE SUCH A MALE CHAUVINIST!”
(very appalled at my dad at this point)
Dad: “Faster go & find a nice boy lah, you know I really want to hear the pitter patter of little feet soon.”
Me: “ASK YOUR SONS TO GET MARRIED NOT ME!”
(feeling thoroughly nauseated)
Dad: “Aiyo… You cannot be so strong you know? Guys like soft, gentle women that will listen to them, cook for them at home, support them at all times… You so strong, you will scared away all the guys lah… so you must be softer you know? Wear more womanly clothes, change your independent streaks, don’t act so strong, then the guys will come to you.”
Me: “WHAT? Why do I want guys that can’t take me as I am? Why do I need to change my personality just to get the guys? Plus, I wear *skirts* & put make up to work everyday leh!”
(aghast is the correct sentiment)
Dad: “Why you so headstrong ah? You don’t be like me can a not? You don’t always look so ‘diao-geh’ (snobbish) lah, be softer a bit. Let the man be the man, you don’t have to be the man! Listen to dad won’t be wrong one…”
Me: “Wahhhhhh! I’m your daughter mah! That’s why I’m like you! And how to change my personality like that lah?”
after several minutes of this conversation goes round & round in the same thread…
Dad: “Ok ok lah, tell you what, I’ll buy the Buddhism book (佛经) for you ok? You go read it then you won’t always be so gung-ho & will able to soften up a bit.”
Me: “Ok loh…..” *sweat*
Dad: “Ok ok! I’ll go buy the book for you later ok!”
Me: *HUGE SWEAT*
Anything to make my dad happy I guess… but a Buddism book? Kudos to my dad for his originality! Mannn… I will pretend that this entire conversation has never taken place. LOL
And PS: I am perfectly happy the way I am!
to bong: yaloh.. so strong for what right? haha
they are from different century. but i believe woman should fight for themselves now and not to let man bully.
destiny child “Independent woman”
Question: Tell me what you think about me
I buy my own diamonds and I buy my own rings
Only ring your cell-y when I’m feelin lonely
When it’s all over please get up and leave
Question: Tell me how you feel about this
Try to control me boy you get dismissed
Pay my own fun, oh and I pay my own bills
Always 50/50 in relationships
Dear~I somehow agree…not you but your dad..ha..so strong for what?relax~
LOL don’t ever change! Your personality is what makes you Pagan, and what makes the men (not boys) sweat. =)
Ivy>If you work for her then u really have limited chance!! I had been staying in mlc for a yr
In mlc, there are Three facts:
Good guys= NONE!!
GOod guys are taken !
Or maybe no ‘strong’ guys! I think the last fact is more appropriate!
I am your neighbour
I am anonymous
I am jc.
to the anonymous.. yes, I know, I told my dad that. But he just wouldn’t accept it. Hey! How come anonymous lah! Next time I’ll put a block to all anonymous people >.<“
my mom said the same thing… but she has given up. in fact, she asked me to work for her. hahaha
Hey.
You are not strong juz becoz they are weak? You dnt hve to change, juz get a stronger man…
and what is the point to get a weak man ?
i am ur aiya-brother
visit my blog
http://www.andrewslau.com/blog